Before we get into this video, get a piece of paper and number it from 1 to 10. Now, write down ten reasons why you’re amazing. Do not be humble. Brag about yourself and seriously write it all down. I’ll review my list and give you some inspiration and ideas.
I want you to do this exercise because I need you to understand that you are amazing. Unfortunately, many men get it into their heads that nobody will like them for specific reasons such as height, facial hair, losing hair, and more. These preconceived notions prevent others from being interested in you, and you’re amazing.
- I’m a good dude
- I’m kind
- I’m friendly
- I dress well
- I have a nice body
- I smell great
- I have a good job
- I am loyal
- I have a good sense of humor
- I am confident
What you need to do to facilitate finding a fantastic partner.
- Stop obsessing. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is obsessing about one person. The truth is that this person either isn’t interested in you, friend-zoned you, or doesn’t find you sexually desirable. If you implement some of these tips and strategies, she will likely become interested in you.
- Be more interesting. Nobody wants to be around boring people. Get out there and do things, say yes more than no, and try different things. The more you experience, the more places you go, and the more opportunities you take, you’ll be around exciting people and become more well-rounded and interesting.
- Engage with literally everybody. Talk to as many people as you can wherever you are. This practice will hone your ability to engage and communicate so that when you’re with somebody you’re interested in, you can push down the fear of rejection and approach them.
- Dress with intention. Ensure your style is on point without spending thousands on an outfit. Your outfit must fit, be stylish, and be put together with purpose & intention. Your style and grooming habits tell others how you feel about yourself, which is your personal brand. Would you date you?
- Smell amazing. How does your breath smell? Do your pits stink? How about your balls? Check out Pete & Pedro’s panty dropper colognes, natural deodorant, and talc-free ball & body powder.
- Build your confidence. Implement things in your daily life that make you feel good about yourself. For me, it’s exercising and lifting weights. You can get a haircut, engage in skincare, read and learn, and/or hang out with friends. These things will help you feel better about yourself and boost your confidence. I also stop watching porn, which will help you have more motivation and get your dopamine in control.
- Go where people are. Bars and nightclubs aren’t great places to meet people. Opt for festivals, parks, yoga classes, gyms, and places where you can be around people without the pressure of many single dudes around. Dating sites geared toward quick hookups are not conducive to meeting someone for the long term. Other sites are geared toward making real connections and slow rolling instead of banging her on the first date. Hair salons are another place crawling with sassy and spicy senoritas who take care of themselves.
- Work the muscle. Don’t be shy about asking friends if they know any great girl you could be set up with. The great thing about asking for a referral from a friend is that if they are friends with this other person, you will most likely also get along. Further, if your friend thought this person was worthy of dating you, they’re probably high quality as they won’t set you up with a pig. Another great thing is that it’s a lot easier to break the ice when you’re set up on a date because you can talk about your mutual friend, which makes everything more comfortable.
The psychological trick — Open Loop
The method uses open loops by presenting an idea and leaving it open and vague so that somebody jumps on board. When someone hears something exciting left open, they’ll lean in. They’ll ask for more information; at this point, they have semi-bought into the idea. When the guy looking for threesomes did this with women, 90% of the women would say yes.
You could start with, “You know what would be interesting?” or “You know what would be really fun?” Leave the idea open (and the idea doesn’t have to be about sex). You could do something like, “When we meet tomorrow for the first time, let’s not say a single word to each other and just hug.” It can be as simple as that. Or you could do something like, “You know it would be really fun? Tomorrow, we could go for donuts.” It’s just something that gets people to buy into a concept.
It’s all about leaving the idea open and vague. Open loops make people curious, are engaging, and make the other person want to know. They get people to bite, are a pattern-interrupt, and trigger the primal brain. My friend Marni had a friend who started applying this to his dating life. He would start by saying he has an interesting idea. The woman would want to know more, and then he would ask for whatever he wanted. Once, he asked his date to take her panties off under the table and slide them across to him before leaving the restaurant. She did it.
Open loops may not work for continuous conversation, but they can get a person’s attention because it’s out of the norm and incomplete. The brain is left to fill in the gaps, which is intoxicating. People can’t help but want to jump on and see what’s going on.