I personally believe that each and every one of us has certain superpowers, which we are really good at. My superpower is being able to talk to anybody and connect with people super quickly. Having a few different step-fathers and moving to different schools, being able to make small talk and connect with others was a defense mechanism, which I developed to not feel like an outsider. Also, I am an introvert and don’t like socializing around a lot of people. But over the years, I developed the small talk skill even further, and as a result, I’ve become a Kung Fu ninja.
If you have the ability to meet somebody and then quickly transition that conversation into something more substantial with a better & deeper connection, it’s game over. It’s a super freaking power, which will benefit you throughout your life through more opportunities and better relationships.
How to get the convo rollin’
- Ask the right questions — ask open-ended questions rather than closed questions, which only have 1 answer. You can start with a closed question and then proceed with an open question.
- Lead with a compliment — pick something they are wearing, for example.
- Be honest & vulnerable — when you start communicating, it’s okay to go a little deeper than surface level.
- Be a connector — bring someone you know into the conversation and introduce the two. The three of you will have a richer conversation.
- Be more interesting — the more you know and learn, the better the conversationalist you will be. You will also be more memorable.
The 5 F Method
- FROM — where are you from?
- FUN — are you doing any fun this weekend? What are your hobbies? Who makes the best pizza?
- FIRED UP — certain topics get the person more engaged, which is their ‘hot button’. Continue to probe & ask from there.
- FUTURE PLANS — are working on anything exciting? Any big plans this weekend? Any future projects? Don’t go too big, grand, or heavy, however.
- FOLLOW UP — ask questions based on what you’ve perceived and how you’ve read the person.
