Today, I want to discuss one of a guy’s most controversial style items. It’s the tank top. Do you wear it? Can you wear it? When should you work? When should you not wear it? Today I will review tank top do’s and don’ts to make sure that you’re always looking amazing and that you’re not looking like you’re trying too hard or a humongous douche.
Men’s Tank Top Dos and Don’ts
No! The wife beater (AKA guinea tank). This type is not acceptable as a standalone shirt. It is an undershirt that’s skin-tight around your body, making you look like a sausage. Opt for an inexpensive H&M tank top, which fits right, and the fabric has a nice finish. Another option is Jason Scott from Nordstrom Rack. I love the fit, and the straps are a bit thinner, but it’s not a string tank top.
No! String tank tops. Avoid these because you will look stupid. Even if you’re jacked, you will look like a douche rocking a string tank. You usually can see nipples as well, which is not a good look. I like tank tops from Alternative Apparel, which are a bit more stylized around the neck and armholes, adding a bit of casual coolness to the tank. It also fits well and is strategically snug in the chest. The straps are about 2 inches, which is ideal. If they are wider, your shoulders will appear narrower.
No! Homemade tanks. Avoid this! Shoulders appear narrower with deep arm holes. Also, with a homemade tank, you can see all of your sides, and you’re not as clean as you think. You can see all booby fat and soft doughy midsection. Without the sides, the shirt opens up, and instead of having a nice v-taper and drop, you look like a box. Instead, go with something designed to be sleeveless, like the one I’m wearing from Cuts. It has subtle detail down at the bottom. But personally, I think a proper tank top looks better than a sleeveless shirt. You’ll have more drop in the collar, exposing more of the upper chest or pec region. The shoulder straps will be slightly narrow, making your shoulders appear more broad. Check out the one I’m wearing from H&M. It was super affordable.
No! Boring tank tops. The H&M tank top I’m wearing is more stylized than the basic ones worn at the gym or pool. It’s a bit more elevated aesthetic with a green color, and it has subtle details. With a pocket, it’s a bit more stylized as well. Circling back to colors, get a few black, white, and gray tank tops. Other colors are personal preference, but when chosen properly, they’re amazing for layering under an overshirt or cardigan sweater.
Stylize your tank top. You can wear a tank by itself or with shorts or jeans. You can wear it as a base layer underneath a light bomber jacket. It looks amazing with an overshirt, leaving it open and rolling the sleeves. But you need to make sure you’re choosing the proper tank top and that it works with the rest of your outfit.
Sun’s out. Guns out. You need to work out. If you want to increase the size of your arms, focus on the triceps, which compose 2/3 of the size of your arm. Also, don’t neglect your deltoids. Symmetrical round shoulders will add width. Make sure not to neglect the rear delts, which will make your shoulders look more round and sexy. Do face pulls, reverse pec deck, bent-over dumbbell raises, and other exercises to focus on the rear delts while working out.
Groom your hair. If you have a lot of underarm hair, take down the length. Also, make sure you don’t have clumpy deodorant in your armpits. I use Pete & Pedro FRESH Deodorant, a clear solid that you won’t jack up your clothing with white streaks or clumps in your underarms. If you have a lot of chest hair, you need to manage this. Take the length down, or shave it. Because tanks expose your entire arm, you can look better by removing the arm hair to look more defined and vascular. You can accentuate your arms.
Opt for a clean front. Ensure the tank’s front is clean and doesn’t have many logos or big designs. Your tank shouldn’t have anything obnoxious or rude on it, either. Avoid tanks that have logos, graphics, sayings, or anything funny. It should be plain so that you look your best.
People WILL notice. People will notice you when you work out and wear a tank top. Reciprocally, people will notice you if you wear a tank top and don’t work out. But, if you work out, they will assume you’re an egomaniac and automatically think you’re full of yourself. So don’t exacerbate the situation and make yourself look like a bigger douche by wearing one of the offensive tank tops discussed.
It cannot be dressed up! Don’t wear a tank top on a date. You cannot dress up a tank top. Also, don’t wear them to inappropriate occasions or situations in the summertime. Yes, to the gym, pool, and beach. You can also kick around at the park on a sunny weekend day.
