Today, I want to explore the topic of a male midlife crisis, analyze why it’s happening, and discuss the steps you can take to avoid one.
Midlife crisis: life is short vs life needs passion?
Most people think of a midlife crisis as a guy in his 40s or 50s who ends up banging his 28-year-old secretary, leaving his wife & kids, and buying a Ferrari. Most people attribute it to a man’s realization that someday he will die, but it’s much deeper than that.
A male midlife crisis is more like an identity crisis or issue. Suppose a man has been living for somebody or something else. He may wake up one day and feel like he’s missing passion and goals but then develop a burning fire to do something to feel alive again.
Most men never see it coming. It’s a shock, even though he knows life is short. But as we age, we see people passing away around us, and we have more issues with our bodies. But, again, I don’t think this is the reason why some men go crazy all of a sudden.
Passion is part of the equation. It’s about living a fun and exciting life, but it doesn’t mean roses and BJs daily. We all need to live productive lives with purpose, but many men feel like their lives are empty or that they’re on a treadmill doing the same thing daily. Some feel like they’re living life for somebody else or didn’t follow their purpose or passion. They may have listened to other people regarding college, getting married, getting a job, etc.
Live a life to feel invigorated, but that doesn’t mean every day is an adventure. In my opinion, when a man has a midlife crisis, he makes a 180° turn into something completely different from the norm. It’s not because he’s getting ready to die; it’s because he wants to live a more exciting and inspired life.
We need to decide to be selfish rather than do things for other people; if not, a midlife crisis can pop up. Unfortunately, the term selfish is negative. But in our lives, we must be selfish to avoid a midlife crisis.
Avoiding the male midlife crisis
So how do we avoid this? A midlife crisis is destructive because many people in your life will suffer collateral damage.
Ensure you don’t get married too early or be pressured into getting married. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t even consider marriage before you’re 30 years old. Many guys have affairs because they’re curious. Suppose he had gotten the action when he was younger. In that case, he may have satisfied his curiosity by not doing what’s expected (getting married early) and instead doing what he wanted.
Don’t listen to anybody else regarding what you want to do with your life. Don’t fall prey to other people’s opinions or expectations.
Be consistently and constantly striving for something more and better. Have goals and continue to strive and try. Goals give life meaning and give you direction for something to work toward. This goes for things that are not so easy as well.
Keep your relationship alive. Don’t get comfortable, fat, or lazy. Put energy and time into your relationship and take responsibility for yourself.
Ensure you care for yourself physically, including your skin, grooming, scent, and physique—exercise for your appearance and higher self-esteem. When you start to get into a rut, you may not be taking care of yourself esteem. Men can seek validation in other ways that won’t solve your problems.
Long term happiness
Even if you have an affair with a spicy senorita, buy a Lambo, and get those BJs in the car while driving, this provides only temporary happiness and will not lead to a fulfilled life. You’re trying to satisfy something that can only be resolved by living the life that you need. Those other actions only provide a momentary boost of endorphins.
Sure, midlife crises can happen, but they’re a cop-out. They’re also your fault. If you live an inspired and purpose-driven life, you won’t have to worry about that. Continue to strive to be happy and have goals.
