I KNOW what you can look forward to!

I have a friend who’s caught in what I call the 9-to-5 hamster wheel. He’s got a corporate job, works his ass off, and lately I’ve watched him become increasingly cynical and pessimistic about pretty much everything. He hasn’t taken a real vacation or meaningful time off in forever. He doesn’t sleep well. I’ll ask him to hit the gym with me, and there’s always a reason he can’t — work is crazy, he’s got emails to answer, he’s exhausted, he’s too busy. 

And here’s the thing: there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with his life, but he’s stopped giving himself anything to look forward to outside of work. His days have become wake up, work, stress, sleep badly, repeat. I finally told him, “Dude, you need something on the horizon.” It doesn’t have to be a two-week vacation in Italy. It could be dinner with somebody Friday night, a Saturday morning hike, a concert next month, hitting the gym with me tomorrow, or simply sitting outside with a great cup of coffee.

When every day starts looking exactly like the one before it, life can start feeling like something you’re enduring instead of something you’re excited to experience. And sometimes, the first step toward feeling happier isn’t changing your entire life — it’s simply giving yourself something to look forward to.

I think one of the most underrated secrets to being happy is incredibly simple: you need something to look forward to (anticipation!). I don’t care if you’re 18, 48, 78, or 98. I don’t care whether you think you’ve got your whole life ahead of you or you’re acutely aware that there are more years behind you than in front of you. As long as you’re here, there is something ahead of you. There are experiences you haven’t had, people you haven’t met, conversations you haven’t shared, places you haven’t seen, things you haven’t learned, and moments you haven’t laughed your ass off about yet. The future isn’t just something coming at us. It’s something we get to help create.

The problem is that if you spend too much time watching the news or scrolling social media, you’d think we’re all screwed. War, politics, crime, Artificial Intelligence, the economy, climate, and disease — somebody somewhere is constantly telling you what you should be terrified about next. And I’m not saying we should bury our heads in the sand or pretend legitimate problems don’t exist. They absolutely do. But if your attention is constantly focused on everything that might go wrong, you eventually forget about everything that might go right. You stop imagining possibilities and start anticipating disasters. That’s a miserable way to live.

Anticipation is actually incredibly powerful. Psychologists sometimes describe the positive emotion we feel when we expect something good as anticipatory joy. The cool part is that the thing you’re excited about doesn’t even have to be happening yet. Your brain can create a positive picture of that future experience right now. Dopamine and our brain’s reward systems drive motivation and anticipation, which means some of the enjoyment isn’t simply getting what we want—it’s looking forward to getting there. Hope gives us direction; purpose gives us momentum; and anticipation can temporarily pull our attention away from stress and toward possibility.

And here’s something else I’ve learned: what you’re looking forward to doesn’t need to be impressive. Some of the happiest moments in my life are ridiculously ordinary: that first cup of coffee in the morning, sitting down after a long day and watching a show I’m into, going outside for a walk, hitting the gym, and eating a meal I’ve been thinking about. These tiny rituals become little anchors throughout our days. You wake up knowing there’s something enjoyable waiting for you, even if it’s just coffee and 20 peaceful minutes before everybody starts needing something from you. Never underestimate the happiness contained in small routines.

Then you’ve got the things involving other people. Maybe you’re meeting a friend for lunch next Saturday. Maybe your kids are coming over. Maybe you’re taking your wife or girlfriend to dinner. Maybe you’re meeting somebody at the park, calling your brother, visiting your parents, or getting together with friends you haven’t seen in six months. Mark your calendar with meetings, events, and instances that involve people you care about. People need connection, and knowing you’ll spend time with somebody who matters gives the future a little emotional gravity. It gives you something to move toward.

We also need bigger things on the horizon. I mean goals that stretch beyond tomorrow or next weekend. Maybe there’s a country you’ve always wanted to visit. Maybe you want to learn Spanish, play guitar, start a business, run a 10K, write a book, renovate your house, get out of debt, or finally learn how to cook something besides scrambled eggs. Goals aren’t just valuable because of what happens when you accomplish them. Goals are valuable because of who you become while pursuing them. Progress creates momentum, and momentum makes life exciting.

But here’s where I think this gets even more meaningful as we get older: eventually, fulfillment can’t only be about what we’re going to get. It also needs to become about what we’re going to give. What I mean is: volunteer, mentor somebody younger, help somebody who’s struggling, create something, teach something, get involved in your community, and/or share the lessons you’ve spent decades learning the hard way. An incredible amount of purpose waits for us when we stop asking, “What’s life going to give me next?” and start asking, “What do I still have to give?” Your value doesn’t decrease because you have fewer years ahead of you. In some ways, the older you get, your ability to contribute becomes greater because you’ve accumulated something incredibly valuable: experience.

Another thing we should never stop doing is meeting new people. I think one of the easiest ways to accidentally make your world smaller as you get older is to stop putting yourself in situations where new connections can happen. You can meet new people by joining an interest-based group, taking a short course, attending a community event, going somewhere you’ve never been, and talking to somebody you normally wouldn’t. Give yourself a goal of making one meaningful new connection every month. Think about that — twelve new people in a year could potentially introduce you to twelve entirely different worlds, perspectives, friendships, opportunities, and experiences.

Of course, none of this works particularly well if you don’t take care of the vehicle carrying you through all these experiences: your body. Make sure you exercise, walk, lift weights, sleep well, eat well, and see the doctor for preventive care (including the dentist!). Protect your mobility. Health isn’t just about avoiding death; it’s about increasing your ability to live while you’re alive. When you feel strong, capable, and energetic, your future gets bigger because you can look forward to more things.

And yes, I absolutely believe in living in the present. I’ve talked countless times about appreciating what you’ve got right now because none of us is guaranteed tomorrow. But living in the present and looking forward to the future aren’t opposites. They’re partners. You can appreciate the coffee you’re drinking today while getting excited about the vacation you’re taking six months from now. You can love your life exactly where it is while simultaneously wanting to see what happens next. Gratitude says, “I’m thankful for this.” Anticipation says, “And I’m excited about that.” A fulfilling life has room for both.

This becomes especially important when life gets hard. Some seasons of life make looking forward feel harder than usual. Maybe you’ve lost someone you love, a relationship has ended, your health has changed, you’ve retired, your kids have left home, or your career has taken a turn you never expected. In those moments where something you thought would last longer or even forever doesn’t, the future can suddenly feel a lot less exciting — and sometimes even a little empty. During those periods, you may have to deliberately put little lights out in front of yourself: coffee tomorrow morning, a walk tonight, dinner with a friend Friday, a project this month, and/or a trip this year. You don’t necessarily need one gigantic reason to be excited about life. Sometimes you need a series of small reasons not to stop moving forward.

No matter how old you are, there is still something ahead of you that you haven’t experienced yet. Your best conversation may not have happened. Your funniest memory may not have happened. You may not have met one of the most important people you’re ever going to know. You may discover a passion at 70 that wasn’t even on your radar at 40. Nobody knows how much time they’ve got, which is exactly why I refuse to spend mine staring into a future painted entirely with doom and gloom. Give yourself something to anticipate — something tomorrow, something next month, something next year, and something bigger than yourself. As long as you’re alive, your story is still being written. And I think that’s one hell of a reason to look forward to what happens next.