Become Someone Who Makes Things Better

I know somebody who is exhausting. And I don’t mean they’re a bad person, because they’re not. But almost every time I see them, something is wrong. Their job sucks. Somebody pissed them off. Traffic was horrible. The restaurant screwed something up. Somebody at work is an idiot. IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING.

And I’ve noticed something interesting: when this person walks into a room, the energy changes. You can almost feel it getting heavier because everybody knows what’s coming. And I started thinking about that recently because I had a realization that made me a little uncomfortable: every single one of us does something to a room when we walk into it. We either add something, take something away, or leave it exactly the way we found it.

And that got me thinking about the type of person I want to be. I don’t need to change the freaking world. I’m not trying to walk around sprinkling positivity dust everywhere I go. I just want things to be a little better because I was there. If there’s trash on the ground, pick it up. If somebody looks good, tell them. If the new guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, help him. If everybody’s stressed, make somebody laugh. If something needs fixing and I can fix it, handle it. Nothing dramatic. Nothing worthy of applause. Just small opportunities throughout the day to leave people, places, and situations slightly better than I found them.

Think about the people you genuinely enjoy being around. There’s a good chance they add something to your life. Maybe they make you laugh, maybe they listen when you talk. maybe they’re encouraging, maybe they have an incredible attitude, or maybe they’re the person who notices when somebody needs help and jumps in without being asked. When they leave the room, the room doesn’t feel drained. It feels better because they were there. That, in my opinion, is one of the greatest compliments anybody could ever receive.

I think of it as being a net-positive human being. Every interaction we have is essentially a tiny transaction. You’re either adding something, taking something away, or leaving things exactly the way you found them. And unfortunately, we all know people who consistently take: they complain, criticize, create drama, or make everything about themselves. They walk into a room and somehow suck the oxygen out of it. I don’t want to be that dude. I want my presence to add something positive, even if it’s small.

And small is the key because none of this needs to be impressive. If somebody is wearing a cool pair of shoes, tell them. If the shopping cart is sitting in the middle of the parking lot, put it away. If somebody at work is struggling, ask if they need a hand. If there’s a mess that you can clean up in thirty seconds, clean it up. If somebody looks like they’re having a rough day, make them laugh. These things are almost ridiculously insignificant on their own, but when you make them part of how you operate, they start defining the type of person you are.

One of my favorite examples is helping the new guy. We’ve all been the new guy at some point. You don’t know where anything is, you don’t know everybody’s name, you don’t understand the inside jokes, and you’re trying desperately not to look like an idiot while secretly feeling like you have absolutely no clue what’s happening. It takes almost nothing for someone who’s been there longer to say, “Hey, let me show you how this works.” But to the person receiving that kindness, it can completely change their day. Maybe even their entire experience.

There’s also something powerful about fixing things without needing credit. I think we live in a world where people increasingly want recognition for everything they do. If they help somebody, they want people to know they helped. If they donate, they post about donating. If they do something generous, there better be photographic evidence. But there’s a different kind of satisfaction that comes from doing something good when absolutely nobody knows you did it. Pick something up, straighten something, replace something that’s empty, or solve a little problem. Then move on with your day.

The beautiful thing is that being this type of person changes you too. Every small positive action reinforces your identity. You stop thinking, “I occasionally do nice things,” and start thinking, “I’m somebody who helps.” There’s a huge difference. Your actions become less dependent on your mood because they’re connected to who you believe you are. You don’t return the shopping cart because you’re feeling especially generous that day. You return it because you’re the type of dude who returns the damn cart.

This also applies to the emotional energy you bring into situations. I’m naturally a pretty energetic dude, and I’ve learned that energy is contagious. Unfortunately, negative energy is contagious too. Walk into a workplace complaining every morning, and eventually other people start complaining with you. Walk into the same workplace smiling, asking people how they’re doing, cracking a joke, and genuinely being excited to see them, and that spreads too. You don’t need to be obnoxiously positive or pretend everything is amazing. Just understand that what you bring into a room affects the people in it.

And being a net-positive human being doesn’t mean being a pushover. This is important. Being kind doesn’t mean letting people disrespect you. Helping people doesn’t mean allowing them to take advantage of you. Positivity doesn’t mean pretending problems don’t exist. Sometimes making a situation better means having an uncomfortable conversation. Sometimes it means telling somebody the truth. Sometimes it means setting a boundary or saying no. The goal isn’t to make everybody happy. The goal is to make things better.

I also believe these little actions compound in ways we will never fully understand. You compliment somebody who was having a horrible morning, and suddenly they feel a little more confident. They go home in a better mood and are more patient with their kid. That kid feels better and treats somebody else more kindly the next day. You’ll never see any of that. You’ll never receive credit for it. But that doesn’t mean your tiny contribution didn’t matter. We dramatically underestimate how much our behavior ripples outward.

So here’s my challenge to you, gentlemen: stop worrying so much about changing the world and start paying attention to the world directly around you. When you walk into a room, ask yourself what you can add. When you see something that needs doing, do it. Compliment somebody. Pick something up. Help the new guy. Make somebody laugh. Fix something without being asked. Encourage somebody who needs it. Leave the room cleaner. Leave the conversation lighter. Leave the person feeling a little better about themselves.

You don’t need recognition, applause, or a freaking medal. Just become the kind of man whose presence improves things. Because at the end of the day, one of the greatest legacies you can have is incredibly simple: things were a little better because you were there.