Today I’m giving you some tough love. I love you, I believe in you, and that’s exactly why I don’t want you settling for average or accepting things about your life that you know need to change.
The truth is, nobody else can fix you. You have to be willing to look at the man in the mirror, identify what’s holding you back, and do the work. It won’t happen overnight, and it won’t always be easy. But pick one thing. Work on it. Get it under control. Then move on to the next. Stack enough of these small fixes together, and eventually you’ll build yourself into the man you were meant to be.
Stack small fixes
- The goal isn’t to completely reinvent yourself overnight. Start with your body. Take control of your diet, exercise, and physical health. You need to feel strong, capable, and confident, and taking care of yourself communicates that you value yourself.
- Next, get your money under control. Stop living beyond your means, stop relying on credit to support a lifestyle you can’t afford, and if you’re underemployed, start looking for ways to increase your income. Constant financial stress will rob you of your peace.
- You also need to take an honest look at your sex life and relationships. Casual hookups may feel good temporarily, but if they consistently leave you feeling empty afterward, ask yourself whether they’re actually adding anything positive to your life. Being intentionally single or finding someone you genuinely care about can bring a completely different level of confidence and happiness.
- And while we’re talking about feeling better, prioritize your sleep. Consistently getting solid sleep is one of the simplest ways to improve how you look, feel, and perform.
- Next is your hair. Get a better haircut, grow it out if necessary, or take action if you’re dealing with thinning or hair loss. I developed my DHT Defense Shampoo specifically because I wanted something packed with ingredients designed to support healthier-looking hair and help defend against the effects associated with DHT. Whatever your situation, don’t just complain about your hair—figure out your options and take action.
- Your teeth matter too. Brush, floss, get regular cleanings, whiten them if necessary, and address dental problems that are hurting your confidence. Your smile is incredibly powerful, and if you’re embarrassed to show it, it can affect how you interact with everyone around you. Improving your teeth might take time and money, but it can be an investment in yourself that pays off every single day.
- Then look at your style. This is one of the fastest ways to change and immediately look and feel more confident. Get rid of clothing that is oversized, worn out, outdated, or simply doesn’t represent the man you want to see in the mirror. You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars replacing everything at once. Start with great shoes, add jeans, shirts, jackets, and other essentials as you can afford them. Build a better wardrobe systematically.
- You also need to fix the relationships that are weighing you down. If there’s resentment, anger, hurt, or unfinished business with somebody in your life, it may be time to have the difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding. You may never forgive them or forget what happened, and that isn’t necessarily the point. The point is choosing what you want your future to look like instead of carrying something from your past.
- Finally—and probably most importantly—address the bad habits that are making you feel bad about yourself. I’ve had to do this personally. Years ago, I drank too much and had a two-can-a-day chewing tobacco habit. Eventually I realized I was using these things to escape instead of facing what was actually going on inside of me. Quitting forced me to deal with myself, and it changed my life for the better.
