Research has shown that a person’s most attractive trait is availability, which means different things in different situations. When dating, availability means getting sexy. In a platonic relationship, availability may mean reliability. From a business perspective, availability may mean helping to achieve company goals. If you demonstrate availability, other people will perceive you as more attractive.
The inspiration for today’s video was from an article. I read the website with a coach who teaches people how to be more engaging. Vanessa Van Edwards unlocks many secrets and nuances regarding social interactions and body language. Some other ways to be more attractive are more tactical, while others are more psychological. Either way, I will review the ones that automatically make you more attractive without trying.
Let’s start with a baseline and some tips
Before getting into attraction, I want to set a baseline. The first is about first impressions. In the first 3 seconds of somebody meeting you, they are forming opinions based on non-verbal communication that you’re doing, which includes your style, hair, grooming, breath, handshake, and sent. If any of these are out of whack or inconsistent with how you want to be perceived, the rest of what I will discuss today will be less effective.
So here are a couple of tips to start with: Be overdressed for whatever occasion you’re going to attend. Make sure you’re grooming is straight. Pay attention to your nose, hair, eyebrows, nails, hands, and scent. Smelling good will really set you apart from everyone else. Versace Eros Flame is a fragrance I recently got with Scentbird, and it’s freaking believable!
Secrets to being more likable and attractive
Okay, so many things Vanessa goes over we’ve heard before and are common sense, such as having open body language. But she discusses fronting, which is a good concept. When standing with someone you’re speaking with, have your feet pointing to them so you’re facing them and allowing them to see that you are ready to engage and available to speak.
The 5-and-15 Method is casually touching someone unexpectedly 5 times within 15 minutes. For example, when you first meet, touch her hand, and then a little bit later, sprinkle in some touches on her shoulder or arm. But you must be careful because it could signify you’re trying to ramp up intimacy. But the bottom line is that dopamine is released when we get spontaneously touched, which can be powerfully attractive when done within 15 minutes.
Eye Gazing is a trick where you look somebody in the eye and feel closer and more connected because of the release of oxytocin, a love hormone. I recommend 60 to 70% eye contact, especially in a professional environment. Too much eye contact with a girl could make you look weird, crazy, and shifty. So the goal is to look them in the eye 60 to 70% of the time you talk to somebody. And when you’re listening, you want to ramp it up. Active listening includes leaning in, making eye contact, nodding, saying ‘yes,’ and letting them know you’re listening.
Wait-and-Smile is an incredible way to attract others. It shows you’re friendly and inviting, but you only want to smile occasionally rather than overdo it. Those who smile too much often have less power and status, and it’s terrible if you never smile. The trick is to wait and not smile before getting introduced. When you see somebody you want to talk to, you want to approach them, introduce yourself, and then smile. You want to wait until you introduce yourself or are introduced.
The next secret to being more likable is to make sure your hands can be seen and don’t have a closed-hand position. You want to be open with an expressive, and you want your fingers to be loose and a bit spread.
You can instantly make somebody like you more by telling them a secret because you make them feel special. Divulge something private or personal about yourself to connect you quickly and allow them to see your flaws. Showing your flaws or insecurities will also connect you quickly.
Further, another trick is being in a good mood, which is infectious. When you meet somebody and you’re positive, happy, smiling, and engaging, you will make them want to be with you.
Be interested as well as interesting. A lot of times when we meet somebody, we talk about ourselves. But, if you flip it around and allow them to talk about themselves, they will view you as more attractive. People like to talk about themselves; however, if they never ask you about yourself, they’re probably not somebody you want to be around because nobody likes someone who just brags, boasts, or is not interested in you.