The other day, I was reading an article in Psychology Today about why there are so many sexless single dudes in the world. Statistics are staggering and alarming. Of 30 years old, 60% are single, which is a 30-year high. And that is also a 30-year low in the amount of action that dudes get.
The article also says that 80 to 90% of guys are now consuming p^rn regularly, which is why they don’t feel like going out or putting in the time, effort, and work to have a physical connection or relationship. The pandemic also has changed men’s behavior. Instead of going out and doing things, people have become more reclusive and rely on entertainment, engagement, and friendship online.
The article paints being a single male as a deformity or a negative. For tens of decades, women have been very outspoken about how their relationship status is not a barometer of their success. Society has finally started to listen, only to turn it around immediately and instead say it’s now a barometer of a man’s success as a person. Because men are not choosing not to seek these relationships, society interprets this as failing.
Men’s and women’s behaviors have changed, and the downside of consuming so much internet content is that the brain is rewired. Dopamine is produced to motivate us, but now we can go to our computer, and boom, we get what we want without having to go out and do things. Some people would rather stay home in their pajamas and be lazy because their brains have gotten so whacked from the dopamine imbalance by getting it through unhealthy means, which prevents them from being motivated to go out IRL and meet people, make friends, and get spicy action. This motivation is also lacking in people’s jobs, careers, and side hustles.
Specifically for men, the pressure is real in society. Society is telling men to stand down as far as being dudes. But men need to be men. It’s in our DNA to be providers and leaders. Society’s trying to push men down and say no. Society has also disenfranchised men and led them astray. We need to do what we need to do to survive. We need to take control of our lives and stop listening. Choose better content to feed your brain.
On one side, you have crazy woke liberals, and then you have conservative crazy manosphere on the other side. These two polar extremes aren’t accurate but have created a bunch of pissed-off single virgins who are mad at the world because they’re not getting sex. The truth is they need to do what we talk about, which is to get off their asses and meet people. This will solve a lot of their problems. They need to stop looking at p^rn, and their lives will improve.
But as I said earlier, this issue is not exclusively a men’s issue, but currently, it does disproportionately affect men. The current social hierarchy is devaluing men, so men aren’t even able to complain. If they do, society fires back — which isn’t a modern challenge. Think about it; men have been put on the front line for the betterment of humanity under the guise of duty or sacrifice for the greater good.
I saw a TikTok that discussed an intriguing theory about how men and women growing up in the 1990s experienced the dichotomy of career vs. household responsibilities. At that time, many women had full-time careers while handling household responsibilities and childcare. Young girls witnessing this realized this imbalance was inequitable and didn’t want to follow suit. However, the young boys of this time saw their mothers doing this juggling feat, so they assumed young girls would do the same in the future. This interesting observation may be a significant reason why some young women remain single.
Increasing isolation for both sexes is a genuine issue in modern society. Still, this Psychology Today study is gendered (focusing just on men) — possibly to create discord? Interestingly, people of both genders are having less sex, less friends, and less social time outside of work. The real problem is work/life balance and a lack of public social spaces. Instead, this article is stirring the pot with the incels, saying men are sexless and that it’s strictly a men’s issue.
The article concludes by stating, “Men should have encouraged intimate relations, men need therapy, men need to stop watching porn, men need to step away from devices.” However, therapy can be expensive, sex takes two, p^rn is not just for men (and maybe a symptom rather than a reason for the sex decline), and online dating is a common way to find dates. The article is weak because it simplifies the issue by pointing the blame to men when other factors are at play, such as money, geographical location, etc.
In my opinion, many dudes are single, sexless, and pissed off because they stopped doing hard sh!t. When you do something hard, you have to strive and bust your ass. You might fail, but you’ll have to pick yourself up. When you do something hard, it feels incredible. This whole process builds you up and creates mental strength and toughness. You’ll show resilience and that you’re capable and confident.
Do the hard work and also get your dopamine under control. Develop new habits in place of drugs, alcohol, the internet, and social media. Get out and exercise, get massages, meditate, get outdoors (garden, walk, hike), and take L-tyrosine and L-theanine amino acids, which are building blocks for dopamine. Vitamin D3 and magnesium supplements, along with omega-3 fatty acids, will assist in getting dopamine back in balance. These steps, gentlemen, can help you focus on being the best man you can be.
